I’m halfway there! (A cake even told me so.)
I’m very proud to announce that I ran 14 miles yesterday. That’s slightly over a half-marathon.
Some of you can remember, waaaayyy back in January, when I was first considering signing up for this program. I thinking about running the half-marathon in San Francisco, and I thought I was nuts for even considering that at all. I mean, I thought of myself as such a non-runner, I even had a motto: “I don’t run unless there’s a gun.” Needless to say, the thought of running 13 miles was kind of big.
Within in a couple months, it just got worse, because somehow, even though I hadn’t even walked a mile, much less ran one yet, the thought of a half-marathon in San Francisco became comfortable. Why not take on a full marathon in Honolulu? Just before I signed up for Honolulu, fortunately someone mentioned Florence. I asked, “Florence? As in Florence, Italy?” That was correct… and oh yeah, one other thing, this marathon has to be completed in 6 hours or less. And not to mention the additional $1,000 I would have to raise. No big wup, right? (Close in on panic attack.)
And now, 14 miles, can you believe it?! Well I can. I never doubted myself for one second.
It was a good run. There was a beautiful morning yesterday. Although it was a little bit on the chilly side for the first couple hours, the air was clear and fresh. We ran out from Griffith Park onto Forest Lawn Drive all the way to Barham, up around Warner Brothers until Hollywood Blvd. Then we turned around and headed towards the park again. That was only the first half. We ran back out and headed up Victory Blvd, expanding our usual route northward to Olive. When we returned to the site, everyone nearby started cheering and clapping us on. “You did it! You did it!”
And as all good stories should go… then we had cake. It was a small white cake with lemon filling was brought out to celebrate this moment, and it was gooooood, too.
So I’m halfway there, but in a way, I’m already there, because I have now realized what I thought was once impossible.
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Monday, August 21, 2006
Finding My Way
5,6,7,8... No wonder I was watching CHICAGO this weekend. Apparently, I needed the inspiration.
See, as some of you know, when I decided to take on this marathon, with all the challenges it presents, I said to myself, "If I can do this, then I can do anything." What I thought was going to be the most thing was the running has turned into my limitedness in resources. More simply put, I'm broke, my loved ones are broke, and they only know people, you guessed it, who are broke. When I signed up for this, I took a deep breath, and said to myself, "I will find my unique way." Being part of this was something I had to do.
So when I get nervous, which happens sometimes, I keep saying to myself, "I will find my unique way to the finish line." I need it in moments, for example, like this week, when I will be turning in a recommitment form, which legally binds me to give APLA $3,800 whether I run or not. Scary, huh?
But wait, there's more!
The part that really gets my heart racing is that by the end of September, APLA needs the full amount. So basically, the deal is that they charge your credit card with the remaining balance and then you continue to fundraise until March 2007. Problem is... I don't have a credit card, or rather, should I say, I don't have a line of credit. If I can't get the balance low enough for me to put cash money on the table, I don't get to go. That scares me more than getting injured. That's the panic attack always waiting on the other side of the door.
When that happens, I try not to smoke a cigarette and remind myself that it will work out, and sometimes, I'm fortunate to have that reminder comes from an outside source, as in CHICAGO this weekend. After watching it once for fun, I decided to watch it again with the director's commentary. At one point, Rob Marshall (the director) said that really this story was about how life is a stage and that we are all in search of our unique act. I had to laugh. How true, I thought.
Just like Roxie Hart, I've been fumbling my way towards my goal (while trying not to get caught in the net of certain doom). When I see that, I am reminded of the fact that I'm still standing here is the testament that I will make it to the end. In fact, ever since I've signed up for this marathon, I've always seen myself crossing the finish line. And just as Roxie succeeds in the end, I too will find my own unique way too .... just maybe with a little less razzle dazzle.
See, as some of you know, when I decided to take on this marathon, with all the challenges it presents, I said to myself, "If I can do this, then I can do anything." What I thought was going to be the most thing was the running has turned into my limitedness in resources. More simply put, I'm broke, my loved ones are broke, and they only know people, you guessed it, who are broke. When I signed up for this, I took a deep breath, and said to myself, "I will find my unique way." Being part of this was something I had to do.
So when I get nervous, which happens sometimes, I keep saying to myself, "I will find my unique way to the finish line." I need it in moments, for example, like this week, when I will be turning in a recommitment form, which legally binds me to give APLA $3,800 whether I run or not. Scary, huh?
But wait, there's more!
The part that really gets my heart racing is that by the end of September, APLA needs the full amount. So basically, the deal is that they charge your credit card with the remaining balance and then you continue to fundraise until March 2007. Problem is... I don't have a credit card, or rather, should I say, I don't have a line of credit. If I can't get the balance low enough for me to put cash money on the table, I don't get to go. That scares me more than getting injured. That's the panic attack always waiting on the other side of the door.
When that happens, I try not to smoke a cigarette and remind myself that it will work out, and sometimes, I'm fortunate to have that reminder comes from an outside source, as in CHICAGO this weekend. After watching it once for fun, I decided to watch it again with the director's commentary. At one point, Rob Marshall (the director) said that really this story was about how life is a stage and that we are all in search of our unique act. I had to laugh. How true, I thought.
Just like Roxie Hart, I've been fumbling my way towards my goal (while trying not to get caught in the net of certain doom). When I see that, I am reminded of the fact that I'm still standing here is the testament that I will make it to the end. In fact, ever since I've signed up for this marathon, I've always seen myself crossing the finish line. And just as Roxie succeeds in the end, I too will find my own unique way too .... just maybe with a little less razzle dazzle.
Update Coming
An update will be posted by tomorrow morning. With my motherboard dying, may she rest in peace, it's been a struggle to get computer time. So the update will be postponed by a day, but it will be coming... So stay tuned!
Monday, August 14, 2006
Visit Me Next Saturday in Studio City
Come visit me! Spread the word!
I'll have a little table setup outside at Trader Joe's in Studio City this upcoming Saturday (Aug. 19th) , so please come on by and donate a few dollars. Remember $10 or more gets you a button, but anything will help me towards my goal.
Trader Joe's is located at 11976 Ventura Blvd, east of Laurel Canyon Blvd, in Studio City, CA 91604 within a shopping mall. I'll be there from 2-5pm by the front doors / watermelon.
And please (pretty please) spread the word!
Thanks!
:J
I'll have a little table setup outside at Trader Joe's in Studio City this upcoming Saturday (Aug. 19th) , so please come on by and donate a few dollars. Remember $10 or more gets you a button, but anything will help me towards my goal.
Trader Joe's is located at 11976 Ventura Blvd, east of Laurel Canyon Blvd, in Studio City, CA 91604 within a shopping mall. I'll be there from 2-5pm by the front doors / watermelon.
And please (pretty please) spread the word!
Thanks!
:J
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Down for 30th Birthday Maintenance
Sorry to say, folks, but there will be no post this week since it was my 30th birthday this past Friday. It's not because I've fallen into some deep depression or anything like that, although it does kind of scares me that that is the standard reaction. In fact, I've been actually quite happy about the whole thing. I say, goodbye twenties, it's been fun, but I moving on to bigger and better things!
No, truthfully, I didn't want to go through the effort of making a "true" post. I just wanted to enjoy this weekend. Unwind. Alright, recover, recover! from my night of induldgence. Cupcakes, dancing, and sweet liquor. I did it all, I did, and I confess, I had to recover. There you have it. So, I just wanted to relax (recover) this weekend. I truly hope you can understand.
And with that, I leave you with this question:
If the option were available, would you subscribe to a newsletter format of these posts? Basically, every Monday, you would receive an email with the latest post rather than having to come to the website. I figure it would not only be more convenient for you, but it would be a great way to point out any changes/additions that I make to the site. So I would love to hear if you're interested, but also any other great ideas you might have.
Well, I need to go back to relaxing (recovering) and I'll see you next week!
No, truthfully, I didn't want to go through the effort of making a "true" post. I just wanted to enjoy this weekend. Unwind. Alright, recover, recover! from my night of induldgence. Cupcakes, dancing, and sweet liquor. I did it all, I did, and I confess, I had to recover. There you have it. So, I just wanted to relax (recover) this weekend. I truly hope you can understand.
And with that, I leave you with this question:
If the option were available, would you subscribe to a newsletter format of these posts? Basically, every Monday, you would receive an email with the latest post rather than having to come to the website. I figure it would not only be more convenient for you, but it would be a great way to point out any changes/additions that I make to the site. So I would love to hear if you're interested, but also any other great ideas you might have.
Well, I need to go back to relaxing (recovering) and I'll see you next week!
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Facing AIDS 25 Years Later
I've been wanting to share an article with you that I read a couple months back (thanks to Julius for passing it on to me) -
25 Years of AIDS by John Yewell
While I've been seeing it mentioned more so lately, I'm sure there might be a few of you out therestill that aren't aware that it's been 25 years since the outbreak of AIDS. I certaintly hadn't realized it until I saw this article.
It was interesting, too, because it crystallized a specific reason why I was running. Up until that point, since I hadn't personally known anyone directly with HIV/AIDS, I felt like I didn't have a concrete answer. Sure, I can say that I care very deeply about people's health. And I can tell you that I liked how this program seemed to channel my activist energy very well. I guess I just wanted something more. Call it Italian guilt or something, I don't know, but I was having a hard time with the best explanation to myself or anyone else being "well, I grew up with it."
Then this article came into my hands, and I thought "25 years! It's been that long?" That's when it hit me. Wow, I grew UP with it. I mean, I was on the eve of my 9th birthday when Rock Hudson died and the AIDS epidemic was officially recognized. By that point, though, we all certaintly knew about it. We just weren't sure how we would get it. It was something unknown and scary out there that could get us at anytime.
It horrified me, and even more so, it added much to the alienation I was already feeling. See, my first few years of life was, well, very "My Big Fat Italian Family." I lived in a rather abundant household with mom, my grandparents, aunts, uncles, dogs, and of course, everyone was loud and full of life. When my grandparents moved out of state just before I entered first grade, my mom and I moved out on our own and into a new community. Everything changed, and certainly nothing felt stable after that for years to come.
By the time I was in junior high, my mom was working two-, sometimes, three jobs, often leaving with my babysitter, who fortunately became very much like an older sister to me, and then eventually alone when I became old enough. As well, the fact that I chose to spend my summers with my grandparents only isolated me more. It was very hard to make friends, much less keep them. It seemed like in no time at all, I had became extracted from the world, isolated from it, and losing touch with it rapidly.
The world seemed to unravel more every day. It become more unknown and because of it, scarier. The arrival of AIDS just amplified it all. Especially during those early days, when there was a great fear of coming into contact with someone. Touching should be avoided. The fact that it was scary to shake someone's hand made me afraid to touch what anyone had touched, and thus, made me afraid of everything. It could be anywhere.
It was as if making a sustaining connection with someone, already feeling rather difficult, became impossible because of AIDS. It was a personal attack, too. AIDS had to come along specifically to make sure that I would stay removed and alienated. It was out to get me. It knew my name.
Reading the article brought me back to those days, and sure, it's all moved on from there. AIDS, my life, all of it, has made it on more stable ground, but to have grown up with it directly impacted my life and my sense of the world around me. So sure, of course, I'm running for the Uncle Ronnie's of this world, the loved ones who have felt such a loss, as well for those today struggling to stay alive, and for all the good APLA provides. But I'm also running for kids like me.
In that way, it can never get me. Not really.
---
Click here for a look back at the last 25 years.
25 Years of AIDS by John Yewell
While I've been seeing it mentioned more so lately, I'm sure there might be a few of you out therestill that aren't aware that it's been 25 years since the outbreak of AIDS. I certaintly hadn't realized it until I saw this article.
It was interesting, too, because it crystallized a specific reason why I was running. Up until that point, since I hadn't personally known anyone directly with HIV/AIDS, I felt like I didn't have a concrete answer. Sure, I can say that I care very deeply about people's health. And I can tell you that I liked how this program seemed to channel my activist energy very well. I guess I just wanted something more. Call it Italian guilt or something, I don't know, but I was having a hard time with the best explanation to myself or anyone else being "well, I grew up with it."
Then this article came into my hands, and I thought "25 years! It's been that long?" That's when it hit me. Wow, I grew UP with it. I mean, I was on the eve of my 9th birthday when Rock Hudson died and the AIDS epidemic was officially recognized. By that point, though, we all certaintly knew about it. We just weren't sure how we would get it. It was something unknown and scary out there that could get us at anytime.
It horrified me, and even more so, it added much to the alienation I was already feeling. See, my first few years of life was, well, very "My Big Fat Italian Family." I lived in a rather abundant household with mom, my grandparents, aunts, uncles, dogs, and of course, everyone was loud and full of life. When my grandparents moved out of state just before I entered first grade, my mom and I moved out on our own and into a new community. Everything changed, and certainly nothing felt stable after that for years to come.
By the time I was in junior high, my mom was working two-, sometimes, three jobs, often leaving with my babysitter, who fortunately became very much like an older sister to me, and then eventually alone when I became old enough. As well, the fact that I chose to spend my summers with my grandparents only isolated me more. It was very hard to make friends, much less keep them. It seemed like in no time at all, I had became extracted from the world, isolated from it, and losing touch with it rapidly.
The world seemed to unravel more every day. It become more unknown and because of it, scarier. The arrival of AIDS just amplified it all. Especially during those early days, when there was a great fear of coming into contact with someone. Touching should be avoided. The fact that it was scary to shake someone's hand made me afraid to touch what anyone had touched, and thus, made me afraid of everything. It could be anywhere.
It was as if making a sustaining connection with someone, already feeling rather difficult, became impossible because of AIDS. It was a personal attack, too. AIDS had to come along specifically to make sure that I would stay removed and alienated. It was out to get me. It knew my name.
Reading the article brought me back to those days, and sure, it's all moved on from there. AIDS, my life, all of it, has made it on more stable ground, but to have grown up with it directly impacted my life and my sense of the world around me. So sure, of course, I'm running for the Uncle Ronnie's of this world, the loved ones who have felt such a loss, as well for those today struggling to stay alive, and for all the good APLA provides. But I'm also running for kids like me.
In that way, it can never get me. Not really.
---
Click here for a look back at the last 25 years.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
